Thoughts from a Hike

Today I spent the day hiking to a waterfall, communing with God and remembering Mom…she left us 12 years ago today. As I hiked, a number of thoughts came to mind comparing hiking to life. If I were good at this sort of thing, I could take these thoughts and turn them into something profound about this journey we call life. But I'm not good with metaphors or analogies or illustrations...see, I don't even know what they're called! But I'm going to put my list here and let you make your own connections.

• If you start out thinking you won’t get wet or muddy, you’re wrong.
• Sometimes you step on a rock that is very unsteady.
• Crossing seems to be easier if you go fast…slowing down to contemplate makes your feet slip more.
• Using a hiking stick to help balance makes all the difference.
• You keep thinking this would be so much easier with a companion. It’s nice to have someone by your side through the rough waters.
• A pack on your back can get very heavy. Sometimes you wish you could just throw if off.
• When you come to a crossing that you can’t figure out, sometimes it helps to sit up on a rock and read and wait for someone else to come along. You watch them cross and if they have difficulty, you wait for someone else. After you’ve watched a few people cross, it’s easier to see the best way.
• It’s possible to drop something more valuable (camera) while trying to grab something less valuable (water bottle).
• The first obstacle you encountered seems so small when you return from the rest of the journey.
• The trek back is so much easier, maybe because you are more confident having made it all the way up.

**The waterfall picture above is one I took today.  It was beautiful!**

Journaling

I often mention that I am not a writer. I often find it difficult to put words together that truly express what I'm feeling. So throughout life I have been drawn to authors and people who can take thoughts, express them in words and convey the feeling.

My Dad is one of those. I've been aware from a young age that Dad could put words together in sermons and prayers that communicate effectively, that others can easily relate to, that "touch" people. I recall that often he would finish praying and I would think "that's exactly what I want to say but couldn't figure out how to say it" or "that's exactly what I'm feeling". I'm so thankful for him and that I get to have him as my Dad!

From a very young age, I began keeping journals, but most often not with my own writings but with scripture, poems, prayers and quotes that touched me, that moved me, that struck a chord deep in my heart. (I have an art project I did as a child from a poem I copied from Highlights Magazine about a teddy bear. And I still have a few pages from notebooks that have sappy adolescent poems from Seventeen Magazine!)  

I'll spare you the teddy bear and sappy poems, but I will often put some other journal entries here . . . 1) because I've been reading and re-reading some of them for many, many years and they continue to mean something to me and 2) because they are usually a good launching point for me to expand on some of my own thoughts.

I hope you'll find some you can relate to also.

Are there really that many?

In the grand scheme of things I live a pretty sheltered life. My circles have always involved friends from work, church, Christian small groups, college friends, a few professional organizations and neighbors. So while my circle of people aren't overwhelmed with the horrific and traumatic aspects of life, they all still have pain. Are there really that many different hurts for these groups of people to which we should be sensitive? I didn't really think so (as shared in the last post) but let's make a list:
(There are a lot of varieties and differences in sensitivities so I'm listing many separately that might often be grouped together.  For example, the way women and men deal with a particular situation can be vastly different.)

Wives going through infertility treatments
Husbands going through infertility treatments
Couples who miscarry
Wives who miscarry
Couples who have a still-born
Wives who have a still-born
Couples who can't have children (all treatments are finished and will not have biological children)
Husbands who can't have children (all treatments are finished and will not have biological children)
Wives who can't have children (all treatments are finished and will not have biological children)
Parents of couples who cannot have children (would-be grandparents)
Single men who want to find a wife and be married
Single women who want to find a man and be married
Couples who have special needs children
Couples who have terminally ill or very sick children
Women who have had an abortion
Men whose partner had an abortion
Men and women whose mother or father died when they were younger
Men and women whose mother of father died when they were older
Men and Women who were abused as a child
Men and women of divorced parents
Men and women whose parents, siblings, or family are not believers
Men whose wife cheated on him
Women whose husband cheated on her
Divorced Men
Divorced Women
Men fired from a job
Women fired from a job
Men who can't find a job
Women who can't find a job
Men with terminally ill parents
Women with terminally ill parents
Men whose father never showed them love
Men whose mother never showed them love
Women whose father never showed them love
Women whose mother never showed them love
Couples waiting through the adoption process
Husbands who abuse drugs or alcohol
Wives who abuse drugs or alcohol
Men and Women who are terminally ill
Men and Women who have chronic physical pain

And that's barely touching the surface! Put yourself in any one of these situations and you can understand how so many people are often hurt by our words, conversations and actions.

We all have pain...

I remember the moment in time when I realized this. I was having a pity party for myself and thinking how unfair it was that I had to bear this pain and others didn't. Then my husband pointed out to me that everyone has pain. It just doesn't look like my pain. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt as much. I, of course, shot back, "Oh yeah, tell me examples." As he began to go through a list of friends and the pain they each bear, it hit me. Wow! Yep. We all have pain. (It seems so simple now, but at the time, it was quite a light bulb!) You may not know or understand my pain, but you probably have a pain that I can't relate to either.

It was at that moment that I prayed that throughout life that I would be sensitive to the hurt of others, that I would figure out what that pain is and try my best to relate to it and validate their feelings. I recall all the times of sitting in a group and feeling like no one cared that certain topics and conversations were tough. I prayed that I would be the person in the group who might sense the sticky-ness of situations and either change the subject or start up another side conversation to divert attention. I also began to notice other people who would do the same thing, whether intentionally or just because it's part of their personality. I am always drawn to those people and appreciate them and their sensitivity so much. And I'm so thankful for those people that the Lord has put in my path throughout the years who have diverted conversations on my behalf.

You have to start somewhere...

It's quite overwhelming to start this process and this blog. I have so many thoughts and history swarming in my head. I've written them in various places throughout life . . . another blog, emails, journals, websites, etc.  But I know it will be good to get them out in one place. Maybe not always in a logical order, but I'm fine with that. And maybe it will be a healing process as well. And maybe it will help me figure out where I can go from here. Because I honestly don't know. I do know that despite moments of sadness which I've accepted will always be a part of my life, I'm overall very happy and content where God has me now. I think back to rougher times and am in awe that I am able to write that last sentence. Praise the Lord!