Don't Give Up

The real battle ended when 

Job refused to give up on God.

Why?

“Insisting that God tell us why is a form of idolatry.  It is, in effect, saying He needs to explain himself so we can decide if we think He’s trustworthy, thus placing the answers above God Himself.  We have enough evidence of His goodness to trust without explanations.”

Boy, is that hard!!

It Makes No Sense

Faith means believing in advance 
what will only make sense in reverse.

So many times we've started out on a journey that made no sense to anyone and sometimes not even to us.  But we followed His call and His path for us and trusted that it would all make sense.  One day.

After losing the twins and having another surgery that left me bed-ridden for 10 weeks, we felt God calling us to leave our beautiful 4 bedroom/3 bath home with a big yard and a swing set (that we finally owned and not rented!) and go to Chicago.  It seemed crazy and yet we had such a true sense of peace.  We stored half our belongings and moved the other half to a tiny two bedroom apartment in a northern Chicago suburb.  It felt like we had gone backwards.  We'd been married 10 years and we thought our "lean" years of small apartments and living grocery visit to grocery visit was over.  But God had different plans and we followed Him.  It made no sense.  

And then a few years later, it made no sense when He seemed to be telling me to leave my job in education (after 14 years in public school systems) and go work at a non-profit in downtown Chicago.  It made no sense.  

And then He moved us to California for more schooling (and more tuition debt)...2,000 miles from family.  It made no sense.  But we followed.  

I don't know where we'll end up next but we've promised Him that we'll go wherever He wants us. 

Peace is so much better than being comfortable. 

Even if it makes no sense.  

Rejoice, Rejoice!

This song never fails to cheer me up.  You can't help but rejoice when you hear it.  I love modern hymns like this.  HAPPY EASTER!! Rejoice!

A Daily Loss

I feel like most people know this and then I talk to someone about it and they're surprised by it and then say, "Oh, yeah, that makes sense".  The loss of a child or loss of the dream of a family with children never goes away. Because with each day, each moment, each holiday, each year...I think about how life would be different if Joseph and Hope had lived. I think about how old they would be. I think about traditions we would have created for each holiday. I think about how life would be different. I think about every milestone that comes in life - learning how to walk and talk, starting kindergarten, birthday parties, becoming a teenager, a first date, graduating from high school and on and on and on.  It doesn't end. At least once a day something happens and I wonder about that moment if they were still here. So while some might think that you can move on and get over it, you really can't. Because every day is a loss. It's not as sharp of a pain as it once was, but it's still a hole in our hearts and lives.

Joseph and Hope would be turning 13 years old today. I grieve what today might have been.

Grace Grows Best in Winter

“Why God allows severe trials to enter the lives of His children, even to hedge them about, is one of the oldest questions in the universe; the problem of pain has engaged the finest and most devoted minds from time immemorial and has never yet been satisfactorily resolved.  We believe that one day our God will make plain to His children the inscrutability of His ways; that in that golden morning when we shall know as we are known, every question will be forever stilled, and we shall be eternally satisfied with His explanation.  Until then, we accept from His hand all that comes into our lives and seek to glorify Him in and through it.  The entire human race is subject to suffering – ‘the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world’; but only the Christian has hope of final answers to life’s mysteries.  How much easier to take our sorrows from the Father’s hand, knowing His presence with us now and having His promise of light ahead, than to suffer alone and in the dark! (1 Peter 5:9)".

From one of mom's favorite books...she's been gone 17 years today...I cannot believe it.  I often think about that moment when all her questions were forever stilled and when she was eternally satisfied with His explanation. One day I'll get that moment too!