Laughter Through Tears

In the midst of this turmoil that I wrestle with in my heart and mind, while I am still waiting for answers to my questions, while I still don't understand why, while I continue to quake under this refining process, help me not to cause another to stumble.  Help me to reach out through my pain to comfort someone going through a similar experience.  And hardest of all, Lord (because it reminds me that you haven't chosen this miracle for me yet), help me to rejoice with someone who has just been given the miracle of a baby.  Also, please help me to react with love when others say things that are hurtful about this, my SOFTEST SPOT.

This quote from Debra Bridwell's book The Ache for A Child was given to me in the beginning of our infertility journey.  A new friend wrote it in a greeting card.  I can't explain why it meant so much.

Maybe it was because I barely knew her and yet she was reaching out to me.  Maybe it was because it was my first exposure to a book about infertility.  Maybe it was because she didn't write any of those silly platitudes that people often say at those times.  Maybe because it was honest, "I can't promise to understand ALL your feelings because everyone's journey is different.  But I am a good listener."

Maybe it was because it was in a funny card and laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.  The front had a picture of a woman holding a beautiful snow globe and it said, "Here's a helpful technique for managing stress during difficult times:  First, get one of those glass snow-domes with a happy little snowman and an idyllic, peaceful winter scene . . . (open the card) next, get a HAMMER!"

It made me laugh and it made me cry.  And I really do cherish those moments.  So I put the card in my Bible and have read it millions of times.  I had no idea at that time what a journey it was going to be!!